Great moments in email marketing - Part #692: "Grand Message. You should to read."

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I found this brown paper bag of marketing genius in my mailbox's bulk/junk bin today (yes, sometimes, I like to read spam just for kicks,) and thought I should share it with you.

Before I introduce you to it, I am going to go out on a limb here... and say that this may very well be the most compelling promotional sales piece ever written. It projects the company's professional image with so much gusto that upon reading the first few lines, I was instantly compelled to invest large sums of cash into its stock.

FYI: I changed the company's symbol to ABCD to protect their integrity, but everything else is cut-and-pasted in all of its glory.

Read that message attentively. Here you will find the internal news about ABCD. Please check this news. This information will be published on October 16. It is your chance to buy ABCD for the well price. ABCD going to rock the market and break it. GO ABCD NOW!!!

Recomendation: Read to the end and think after.

(The actual press release went here.)

P.S We will promote that st0ck till the end of the year and the price probability go up. People will buy it and they will earn big cash. Don't miss that and buy it now cause the price is low. After the 16 October the price will grow up to 1000%. Take it now!


It doesn't matter how great your company is, or how cool its products and services are: If you hand over the Marketing keys to hacks or fall asleep at the wheel... whatever you have to offer will all be for nothing.

Attention to detail is exactly that. A company that doesn't pay attention to something as important as the way it presents itself or communicates with its customers is not worthy of anyone's business. Period.

I know that spam is spam... but even spam should have some sort of minimum standards for... I don't know... grammar. Content. Something. The most obvious question is: Couldn't this company have spent a couple of bucks on an english-speaking copywriter? Didn't they think it might be just a tad-bit important? There are thousands of American college students out there who would gladly write this kind of copy with relatively good grammar for little more than a good recommendation.


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